Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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