What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
