I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
