guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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