I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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