why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My dick has a subreddit
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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