He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
