Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize