just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
