just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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