office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
