remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
