i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
