In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
