just come out here and I will go home with you...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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