Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize