its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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