try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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