Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
