I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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