i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
