he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
