So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
