Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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