So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
