just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
