How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
