Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
