this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
