I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
