I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I am puke
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize
