Why are handjobs necessary in class?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
