i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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