sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
