we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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