You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
