She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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