says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
