And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
