I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
