What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
