Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
