North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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