i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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