So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
