i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
