I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just cut my nipple shaving
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
