My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
