ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
