Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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