Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
