I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
